How many people do you blame for your misfortune? – Trials have the power to build you up!

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Whenever we confront trials, there’s an immediate tendency for us to feel cheated and therefore ascribe the blame to the others party.

Especially so when we feel 100% justified for doing so. Why do we do this?

Firstly because it makes us feel better. No one wants to be known as the person from which the trouble started. So it is automatic to direct the blame to others. How do we do this? Firstly, in our minds in our hearts. Our minds generates for us a number of logical reasons for which you make such a claim, the logic is translated into an emotion that makes you feels cheated or robbed in some way. Therefore requiring some kind of justice, apology or compensation.

However, if you have this kind of mentality you’ll always go from one feeling of being upset to another. You’ll find yourself under this effect of offense again and again. But how do we beat this?

How do we make sure we become free entirely from these way of thinking and get to the place where our minds are like Christ and we cannot be offended?

1. Every offense is a tool to help you develop yourself. Whenever an incident happens that gets you offended – instead of rushing to blame the other person, rather train your mind to see it as a tool to develop yourself to get over being offended in that area in your life. Do not seek an apology from the other person, to make you feel better. Rather, to overcome offense, pray for that particular person that offended you. Don’t pray for them to change, pray for A particular need in their life to be met. Pray that God will bless them and strengthen them. Do things for them that you probably not usually do. Look after them genuinely from your heart – it hurts. But that’s the only way by which you’ll be able to be developed in your heart to overcome offense.

God allows offense to show us the extent of the brotherly love working in us because offense is contrary to the attributes of love. 1 Corinthians 13.

Sometimes we assume we love the whole world and nothing can offend us. That only happens when we are in our own corner, but when we meet people we soon realise that maybe we didn’t have that much love in us after all. So God uses offense from people as a training tool to help us develop, increase and extend our ability to love more.

Keys Areas where offense Is Taken;

1. Stereotypes; I.e racism, classism

2. Insult; verbal and physical insult (Phillipians 1:27-29 – Paul speaks in verse 29 about being sufferers of Christ. Our suffering may be physical, but most times it would come in verbal insults and mockery. We may feel offended emotionally, but These come so that we can be offended and get us out of our stand with Christ. Our attitude show be that of gratitude and joy that we have the ability and opportunity to lower ourselves before God and walk in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. It’s previlige to walk in such a manner.)

3. Mockery; coarse joking indirectly or directly towards you.

4. Broken Faith/trust; a trust or expectation which is developed and somehow broken. (John 2:24 – Jesus did not entrust himself to man. He never put his trust and expectation in man. He knew what was in man.)

5. Ego/Respect: A perception of self-worth whereby if the espected treatment does not match that perception brings about offense in the area of ego. (Philippians 2:7 – Jesus considered himself nothing and took the attitude of a servant. He couldn’t have an ego because servants and slaves don’t have an ego. They dont esteem anything of themselves. Ego is also relational. There needs to be someone else for you to have and ego or self perception. If there’s no-one else present, your ego is useless. If you’re stuck in the desert by yourself, you can’t have an ego or self-perception. In the same way, We must walk with God as the only one in our view. Live life like there’s no one else else on the planet but you an God. In that way there’s no need for ego. This is the mindset that Jesus had and therefore God exalted Him to the highest height imaginable. Now he is the King Of Kings!!!)

6. Deception: a belief of truth that turns out to be false, brings offense.

Dangers of Walking in Offense

1. Anger: the bible says anger abides in the laps of fools.

2. Pride: Pride becomes a fruit of offense – the bible says pride comes before a fall. It doesn’t matter the reason why you became proud – once you have pride working in you, God cannot help you. You will fall if you do not repent.

3. Broken Contact with the HolySpirit : if you lose contact with the Spirit you’re gone! You are open to every kind of though from satan, and he will mess up your mind beyond comprehension.

4. Actions that lead to regret: every action taken out of regret leads to regret.

5. Compromise of Character and values. You may have had certain good traits in character which people have known you for and values which you have kept. When you allow offense to come in, you begin to do things that compromise your character and values and lose esteem in the eyes of others.

6. Lost contact and fellowship with God – once you lose contact with God you are finished. Satan will come to you like a flood and sooner or later your life will turn into something quite different.