Does he really love you? If he says he loves you, ask him these questions;
So, let’s not act like they don’t exist….
What’s that feeling that make you do crazy things?
Sometimes you feel so insecure about yourself…..
At other times you feel you don’t deserve the best things of life….
Before we get started, I want you to remember that you can always get the best things in life.
There are no failures in life, we only have;
“People who do not know the principles of life or people who have refused to apply the principles”
So you see, it’s that simple!
Get the knowledge of the principles of life and apply them and you will succeed
You are a princess! Yes, that’s who you are.
Quit trying to compare yourself with other girls based on the outward look. No amount of money spent on the outward appearance will make up for the inside…
Most, times while we spend so much on the outside we die on the inside. Confused about life and not knowing who we are and where we are going to…….
I’m establishing this point because some women might think they don’t need to ask some questions before saying ”yes” to a man based on the mindset that they don’t deserve this man and they are so scared of losing him…..
The fact remains that you are not going to live forever and if you are ever going to get married then you have to do it based on the right principles.
Nobody deserves you who doesn’t know your value or who in anyway thinks you are inferior to him hence acts up like he is doing you a favor.
You are a princess; don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. You might have had relationships in the past that didn’t work but that doesn’t mean you won’t get it right this time. All you have to do is apply the right principles.
Speaking of principles, you must understand that there are principles to everything of which relationship is not an exception.
If you break principles then you are in for some serious regrets and challenges.
So, whether you are in a relationship or looking to get into one, take a break and look through the whole thing to make sure you are not skipping the right principles necessary for your relationship.
Before looking at these questions, let’s establish a point very important;
When asking these questions you must ask them from a position of humility.
Do not ask in a commanding tone.
Do not ask them just because you want to hear things pleasant to you.
Remember you just want the truth even if it hurts but then it will help you make the best decision necessary for your next phase.
In asking these questions, be wise, be calculative and of course some of the questions definitely should not come directly.
Here we go;
1. Why do you think you love me?
The beautiful thing about this question is that it gets him talking while you listen. You see, communication is very vital in any relationship. You don’t just keep talking all the time and then having the guy say nothing. If you act that way you might never know his mindset about you both.
So get him talking while you do the listening.
If he loves you just because of your outward beauty, profession, wealth or fame, then that is a red light right there. You can imagine what will happen if you all those are gone.
Besides you want to be loved unconditionally.
You want a man who will love and cherish you irrespective of your short comings.
How does it sound to you, if the only reason he loves you is because of your outward appearance?
Well to me, this is how it sounds;
”Don’t even think of having a say in this relationship, their are lots of more beautiful girls out there”, I will walk away when your beauty, fame and whatever I’m in relationship with you for fades’’. Now that’s a threat and it will bring about insecurity in your relationship”
Get to ask why he loves you.
Remember if you can’t talk to each other maturely about how you feel or about things in your relationship that you are not satisfied with then you are probably not having a relationship.
2. Do you know what love means to me as a lady?
You have to find out if he really knows what love means to you as a lady. You need to ask this question because while he is busy telling you how much he loves you, you might be so frustrated and this might be followed by complains and nagging based on the fact that to you the love he professes is not practical.
You see to different people loving a woman could mean different things; for some it could mean “getting married to her”
…….So he is more like;
”Well I’m going to get married to you anyways…and that’s enough proof to show that I love you”… (I’m doing you that big favor of marrying you…)
Let’s find out 3 things love might mean to a woman;
1. She wants to know that you the man is there for her. Loving and giving her all the protection she needs. She wants to know she can trust you with her life.
2. She wants you the man to be her companion and best friend….to make her happy and say the right things to her. She wants to marry her best friend… (Sounds familiar right?)
3. She wants it to be romantic sometimes. She doesn’t want you to be too serious all the time. Give her surprises. The little things matter to her. Treat her like your queen… (The car door, the assuring smile, the understanding, the polite words etc)
Basically, the above and much more are some of the things love could mean to a woman.
For men, it could mean something entirely different and this is basically because men and women differ in so many ways.
Someone may ask; well how do I know he is not pretending with his answers…?
Here you go;
1. If it is not his lifestyle, he will always falter.
He will say one thing today, and an entirely different thing next day…Forgetting he had said something different a day before.
Look out for little signs…you will definitely know.
Someone said you can hardly tell a woman lies. It’s either she wants peace to reign or she is scared of coming to terms with the truth she already knows.
2. If he is pretending, he would want to convince you more through his words than his actions.
Does he keep to his words? If he tries to argue on his wrong all the time, then that is a red flag.
Flaring up in anger towards you and raising his voice at you most times is totally unacceptable.
The above and more are some of the signs that he is not totally being honest with you. If you ignore the signs and keep listening to his lies, you will fall into deception.
Your relationship will affect most of the things you do as an individual….Your relationship can either make or mar you.
Before you think of getting married or getting into a relationship,
You should have had some time alone as a single.
Don’t pair up all your life. You need sometime alone to discover who you are.
Being alone is different from being lonely. You can be alone but not lonely. Hence, two successful singles coming together will produce a successful marriage.
Having a clear vision for your life will help you decide or choose and know what you actually want in a relationship.
If you don’t have clear vision and goals, you won’t know what you want; hence you might not be fulfilled in your relationship…….
Written by Dr Amara Mojekwu (Author, life coach and entrepreneur)
Follow her on Facebook – Click here